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Otto Titsling letra
"This next story is a true story.
It concerns two of my favorite subjects:
industrial theft . . . and-a t-ts!
Mmm, what a combo! This is the story . . .
The inventor of the modern foundation garment
that we women wear today was a German scientist
and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling!
This is a true story.
His name was Otto Titsling.
What happened to Otto Titsling shouldn't happen to a schnauzer.
It's a very sad story. I feel I have to share it with you."
Otto Titsling, inventor and kraut,
had nothing to get very worked up about.
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak.
He fled to the opera at least twice a week.
One night at the opera he saw an Aida
who's t-ts were so big they would often impede her.
Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,
done in by the weight of those terrible t-ts.
Oh, my god! There she blows!
Aerodynamically this bitch was a mess.
Otto eyeballed the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,
and he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
flood his soul. He knew what he had to do!
He ran back to his workshop
where he futzed and futzed and futzed.
For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
to lift and mold the female breast;
to point the small ones to the sky;
to keep the big ones high and dry!
Every night he'd sweat and snort
searching for the right support.
He tried some string and paper clips.
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!
Well, he stitched and he slaved
and he slaved and he stitched
until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning,
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant.
Yes! He had invented the worlds first
over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Hooray!
Exhausted but ecstatic he ran
down the street to the diva's house
bearing the prototype in his hot little hand.
Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on.
But, after many initial misgivings,
she finally did.
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
from the diva's mouth
was so loud that it was mistaken by some
to be the early onset of the Siroccan Winds
which would often roll through the Schwarzwald
with a vengeance!
Ahhhhh-i!
But little did Otto know,
at the moment of his greatest triumph,
lurking under the diva's bed
was none other than the very worst
of the French patent thieves,
Philippe DeBrassiere.
And Phil was watching the scene
with a great deal of interest!
Later that night, while our Brun Hilda slept,
into the wardrobe Philippe softly crept.
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,
'til he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door.
Crying, "Oh, my god! What joy! What bliss!
I'm gonna make me a million from this!
Every woman in the world will wanna buy one.
I can have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan."
"Oh, thank you!"
The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?
"Ohhh! Thank you!"
Rosemary Clooney - Letras
- A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes
- Alabama Song
- All I Need To Know
- All Of A Sudden
- Alright, Okay, You Win
- Am I Blue
- As Dreams Go By
- As Time Goes By
- Baby Mine
- Baby, It's Cold Outside
- Bang, You're Dead
- Be My Lifes Companion
- Beast Of Burden
- Beautiful Brown Eyes
- Bed Of Roses
- Big Noise From Winnetka
- Big Noise From Winnetka - Divine Madness Version
- Big Socks
- Big Spender
- Billy-A-Dick
- Birds
- Bless You Child
- Blues In The Night
- Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy
- Botch A Me (ba-ba-baciami Piccina)
- Bottomless
- Boxing
- Breaking Up Somebodys Home
- Buckets Of Rain
- Color Of Roses
- Come Back, Jimmy Dean
- Come On-A My House
- Come Rain Or Come Shine
- Count Your Blessings
- Daytime Hustler
- Delta Dawn
- Do You Want To Dance
- Dreamland
- Drinking Again
- E Street Shuffle
- Empty Bed Blues
- Every Road Leads Back To You
- Everything Happens To Me
- Everything's Coming Up Roses
- Falling In Love Again
- Fat As I Am
- Favorite Waste Of Time
- Fever
- Fire Down Below
- For All We Know
- Friends (Side 2, Cut 1)
- Friends (Side 2, Cut 6)
- From A Distance
- God Give Me Strength
- Half As Much
- Hang On In There, Baby
- Happiness Is A Thing Called Joe
- Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
- He Needs Me
- He Was Too Good To Me / Since You Stayed Here
- He's A Tramp
- Heart Over Head
- Heaven
- Hello In There
- Hey There
- Higher And Higher
- Hurricane
- I Believe In You
- I Don't Want The Night To End
- I Know This Town
- I Know You By Heart
- I Love Being Here With You
- I Never Talk To Strangers
- I Remember You
- I Remember You / Dixie's Dream
- I Shall Be Released
- I Sold My Heart To The Junkman
- I Think It's Going To Rain Today
- I Will Follow You
- I'm A Woman
- I'm Beautiful
- I'm Hip
- I'm Singing Broadway
- I've Still Got My Health
- In My Life
- In The Cool, Cool, Cool Of The Evening
- In The Mood
- In These Shoes
- In This Life
- Is It Love
- Is That All There Is?
- It Came Upon A Midnight Clear
- It's Too Late
- Jingle Bells
- Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)
- Keep On Rockin'
- La Vie En Rose
- Laughing Matters
- Leader Of The Pack
- Let Me Call You Sweetheart
- Let Me Drive
- Let Me Just Follow Behind
- Little Drummer Boy
- Long John Blues
- Love Me With A Feeling
- Love Says It's Waiting
- Love TKO
- Lullaby In Blue
- Make Yourself Comfortable
- Mambo Italiano
- Mangos
- Many A Wonderful Moment
- Marahuana
- Married Men
- Memories Of You
- Midnight In Memphis
- Millworker
- Miss Otis Regrets
- Moonlight Dancing
- Moses
- Mr. Goldstone
- Mr. Rockefeller
- Mr. Wonderful
- My Eye On You
- My Knight In Black Leather
- My Mother's Eyes
- My One True Friend
- Nanette
- Night And Day
- Night Before Christmas Song
- No Jestering
- Nobody Else But You
- Oh Industry
- Oh My My
- Old Cape Cod
- On A Slow Boat To China
- One For My Baby
- One Monkey Don't Stop No Show
- One More Round
- Only In Miami
- Optimistic Voices / Lullaby Of Broadway
- Otto Titsling
- P.S. I Love You
- Paradise
- Rain
- Ready To Begin Again
- Red
- Rose's Turn
- Rudolph The Red Nosed-Reindeer
- Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
- Say Goodbye To Hollywood
- Sentimental Journey
- Shining Star
- Shiver Me Timbers / Samedi Et Vendredi
- Silent Night
- Silver Bells
- Sisters
- Skylark
- Small World
- Soda And A Souvenir
- Sold My Soul To Rock 'n' Roll
- Some People
- Some People's Lives
- Song Of Bernadette
- Sophisticated Lady
- Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most
- Stay With Me
- Storybook Children
- Strangers In The Night
- Stuff Like That There
- Summer (The First Time)
- Superstar
- Surabaya Johnny
- Suzy Snowflake
- Sway
- Tenderly
- That's How Heartaches Are Made
- That's How Love Moves
- The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to you)
- The Folks Who Live On The Hill
- The Gift Of Love
- The Girl Is On To You
- The Glory Of Love
- The Key To My Heart
- The Last Time
- The Perfect Kiss
- The Rose
- There's No Business Like Show Business
- This Ole House
- To Comfort You
- To Deserve You
- Together, Wherever We Go
- Tragedy
- Twisted
- Ukulele Lady
- Under The Boardwalk
- Up The Ladder To The Roof
- Up! Up! Up!
- Uptown / Don't Say Nothin' Bad (About My Baby) / Da Doo Run Run
- When A Man Loves A Woman
- When Your Life Was Low
- White Christmas
- Who Kissed Me Last Night
- Whose Side Are You On?
- Wind Beneath My Wings
- Winter Wonderland
- Yellow Beach Umbrella
- You Can't Always Get What You Want
- You Don't Know Me
- You´re Just In Love
- You'll Never Get Away From Me
- You'll Never Know
- You're Moving Out Today
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